Disclaimer: This HR Fan Fiction. If you are not familiar with either movie or the Oscars - you may not like it. But if you are, I hope you enjoy it.
Introduction
Ms. Bella submitted a complaint regarding Barbie from BarbieLand.
Bella who works in the Poor Things aka the "Deplorable Things" research and development department claimed that Barbie, who works as a Mentor in Barbieland should be terminated immediately for leaving Barbieland on an unexplained absence, creating a hostile work environment for Ken, and being too happy for anyone to believe.
For easy reference please see the organizational chart below
Barbie was hired over 50 years ago to work as a mentor for girls and young women. Her job duties included researching and presenting career opportunities, building female support groups, and having fun.
HR met with Barbie to review Bella's complaints. Barbie did go on approved medical leave, which is confidential information, in July 2023 to determine the cause of her flat feet and feeling of ennui. Weird Barbie, as her acting supervisor approved the leave and even gave her directions to the best medical facility.
Ken asked Barbie if he could go with her, but she said no. However, Ken hid in Barbie's car and went with her to the Real World. Barbie stated that while she did not invite Ken, she was fine and felt no threat to her safety from Ken. She knows Ken has a crush on her, but believes he will outgrow it. Barbie, even took Ken to the hospital when he broke his Beach bone.
Ken works as Barbie's assistant. He is a friendly and welcoming employee. He provides administrative support for Barbie.
Bella works in Research and Development. She was hired as an intern and now holds a position as an uncertified surgeon. She claims Barbie created a hostile work environment for Ken. She states that Barbie continually demeans Ken by not promoting him.
HR met with Ken. Ken stated that Barbie is friendly and supportive. While in the beginning, she may not have publically acknowledged Ken for being Ken, he stated that the problem was solved with one conversation. He is happy working with Barbie.
He stated Bella asked him to work for her and her department, but he declined. He stated Bella was not happy with his decision to stay working in BarbieLand and sent him some inappropriate texts. He states Bella makes him uncomfortable. but since he does not work in her department and is in a different building he has no issues. HR reminded Ken of the company's harassment policies, and told him to come to HR should he experience any further issues with Bella. HR reminded him that even though Barbie is beautiful on the inside s well as the outside, that does not make his girlfriend.
HR is doing weekly check-in with Barbie and Ken and both appear to be doing well.
HR spoke with Bella regarding her accusations of Barbie and our discussion with Ken. She stated that Ken is delusional and so in love with Barbie, he can not see he is being harassed.
When HR asked Bella about sending texts to Ken. She denied it. When we showed her copies of the texts. She said she didn't remember writing them. In addition, she stated that if she did contact Ken, it would be because Ken would want to pursue an unprofessional relationship with her.
When asked again why she would submit a claim on behalf of Ken. She stated that she showed something wrong and reported it. However, she admits that if she overreacted she apologized.
HR reminded Bella of the company's zero tolerance for harassment and retaliation.
Bella stated she understands and it will not happen again.
HR is confused as to why Bella was awarded Employee of the Year at the annual awards ceremony. Bella went on unapproved leave without notifying HR, When HR asked her boss Mr. Godwin Baxter why she was nominated without following the formal guidelines for nomination, Mr. Godwin belched a bubble into the face of the HR coordinator.
Mr. Godwin went on to mansplain how Bella is an example of female empowerment, not Barbie. Mr. Godwin then stated that Barbie is just a toy and meaningless, but Bella is his creation. He asked if Barbie was bitter that Bella won.
When HR asked Barbie if she was upset that Bella won. Barbie stated she was happy for Bella. She thinks Bella so super smart and a wonderful addition to the Company.
HR told Mr. Godwin that Barbie was happy for Bella. Barbie believes the best way to be successful in life is to be happy for your friends and coworkers to succeed.
When HR asked Mr. Godwin why he specifically requested Ken to perform his song, there had never been a song portion of the awards ceremony prior, he stated that it was a gift to Bella. At this point, Mr. Godwin told HR just to call him God.
Ken did perform fabulously and was the highlight of the evening. However, we have asked Ken to keep his guitar at home as HR has received numerous complaints about his singing the same song repeatedly.
Mr. Godwin continued to tell HR that BarbieLand was not about female empowerment, but about making men look like women. He stated his creation, Bella not only breaks the glass ceiling but every piece of glass she sees.
At this point asked Mr. Godwin why his subjects, interns, were only beautiful women between the ages of 18 and 23. He stated that women are more powerful when they are nubile and beautiful. Ugly old women, in his opinion, can not ever be truly empowered as no man wants to have sex with them, let alone pay them for it.
Additional Background
HR has received complaints regarding Mr. Godwin and Bella. Please click here to read Mr. Rex Reed's concerns about the Deplorable Things Department.
In addition, please see Exhibit A, a complaint letter sent by Ms. Kathleen Russell.
A brief synopsis of her complaint includes being talked down to by a naked young woman, that the degradation of the female body is female empowerment. Ms. Kathleen states that the marketing department for the Deplorable Things must consist of the tailors of the Emperor's New Clothes.
Ms. Kathleen reported to the Better Business Bureau that a woman created by a man, (kinda defies nature), and that man has failed to take proper care of his creation. Poor Bella is not exposed to one nurturing person, is told when she gets old, no one will want her, is not protected from being exploited, and is continually nude. Ms. Russell believes only dirty old men who want to see hot naked women can be behind such a scam of female empowerment and the ridiculous idea that the only way for a woman to have control is to give her body over to men. Oh, Ms. Kathleen is also curious how Bella always has money - yet she acted as if she needed money and had to become a sex worker - Ms. Kathleen states that this God Complex guy is keeping the patriarchy safe.
CONCLUSIONS
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The probability of the allegations against Barbie appears to be unfounded. Barbie was previously described as a well-liked, competent employee who is a doll and who continues to bring hope to girls across the world.
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Ken is described as well-liked, cares about his co-workers, and seeks to continue his training with the Company. While Ken may be naive, his intentions are good. His love of horses is admirable.
Bella is admired by many on the staff. While her communication style needs improvement, she is bright and can integrate her research and development experience into further exploration. However, Bella does not exhibit managerial behavior, she has a pattern of reckless experiments. We can not determine what motivated Bella to make false allegations against Barbie. Perhaps, counseling may assist Bella.
It appears that Bella has been unduly influenced by her supervisor Godwin Baxter, whom Bella refers to as God or Father. This is somewhat disconcerting as she appears to place her actions based on her belief that she was created by Mr. Godwin. It is ironic that Bella, for all of her support of women's empowerment does not have healthy working relationships with her female coworkers. She does hold the belief that people must experience all forms of degradation to understand their job duties. The company does not support the degradation of any employee or person. Again, this is in opposition to her concern for Ken, yet her lack of understanding that Barbie is representing female empowerment.
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RECOMMENDATIONS
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Given the evidence and findings laid out in this investigation report, the Audience members should place a more critical eye on the definition of female empowerment. There appears to be a group "Emperor's New Clothes" mindset.
Furthermore, we recommend that the Board of Directors Vette their themes to ensure their themes align with their marketing strategies. It remains questionable as to why Bella would receive the Top Achievement Award for Female Empowerment when she works solely with men and considers her boss - her God.
In addition, it appears reverse psychology was used on Bella by the men in her working environment. It is not female empowerment to degrade yourself sexually to understand that you do not need to have sex with every man who will pay.
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For Mr. Godwin Baxter we recommend immediate termination. He treats his female employees as experiments, belches odd bubbles while he talks to them, only employs extremely beautiful women for said experiments, and appears to suffer from a God complex. We understand Mr. Godwin is ill and will pass soon. This should be taken into consideration as we think we must remain compassionate to his physical state.
In addition, we recommend the dissolution of the Research and Development Department for fiduciary mismanagement, selling female empowerment under false circumstances, and using the monies to satisfy their lust for female degradation, possible misconduct in the election of Bella as Employee of the Year.
This act is especially distasteful as it may give the impression to the audience, that female degradation is equal to female independence. They are proven to be filthy dirty bums without shame and should be dissolved as soon as practical.
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CORRECTIVE ACTIONS
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To be determined by audience members.