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The Corporate Emotional Booty Call: Why HR is Still Necessary.



Imagine:


Corporations are empathetic to human emotions. They mean it this time. This time, they will not go bankrupt and "Madoff" the employees, get a government bail-out, and start again.

Well, that may require a lot of imagination.


And you know what? I’m a believer. I want companies to be better. I’ve been that person—supporting the mission, pushing for fairness—right-up until the moment the CEO casually mentions, 'We don’t follow federal or state laws.' That’s when I pack my bags.


And yes, I’ll admit it: I’ve been conned. More than once, by founders who talk about 'sharing the wealth' and being 'visionaries,' only to reveal their true colors when it's too late.


Is Linkedin the New Fantasy Island?




I signed up for the "I'm an expert in everything package." What about you?


Been on LinkedIn lately? It’s a bit like Disney World: lots of shiny, overpriced merchandise (aka corporate jargon), endless lines (or scrolling), and maybe, just maybe, you get to enjoy one good 'ride' in the form of a valuable connection or job lead. Then you’re off, left to find your way back to reality, probably with a dent in your wallet—or at least your time.


The latest product from the corporate machine? Empathy.


Yep, empathy is now sold like the latest iPhone model. With culture wars on the rise, random wild news headlines, and an overdose of cat memes, corporations have realized that empathy is not just a buzzword—it sells.


But, let’s not fool ourselves. How genuine is this empathy when it’s packaged and sold as a performance metric?


Who is responsible for this corporate empathy? Naturally, HR. Who is there for HR? Aren't we more hated than dentists?


Emotional Labor: The Hidden Cost


Sociologist Arlie Russell Hochschild, in The Managed Heart, introduced the concept of emotional labor. He found that service workers—like flight attendants—are expected to maintain an empathetic, cheerful persona all day long. The toll this takes? They often experience emotional exhaustion, depression, and confusion about their true selves.


Here’s the kicker:" Emotional labor isn’t just a burden for service workers anymore. It’s creeping into offices, especially for women in roles that require constant people-pleasing."  David Graeber, Bullshit Jobs HR teams are well aware of how this hidden expectation creates invisible stress for employees, yet companies continue to demand it under the guise of 'team culture.'


EQUAL ≠ FAIR: The Corporate Power Struggle


Now, let me tell you a tale as old as time in the corporate world.


Once upon a time, there was a startup with two founders—let’s call them The Visionary and The Strategist. Like rock stars (think Keith and Mick, or Noel and Liam), they had amazing chemistry. Together, they built a successful company. But as time passed, each founder began to believe they were solely responsible for the company’s success.



The Visionary imagined all the wild ideas, convinced that without his big dreams, the company would be nothing. The Strategist, however, was the brains behind the operation, ensuring things actually worked. Over time, the gap between them widened until the partnership finally broke apart.


Enter the Beta Dog


The shareholders panicked: what would happen if one founder left? Who would rein in The Dreamer if The Strategist walked out? And who would turn ideas into reality if The Visionary was gone?


The corporate solution? Create a COO position and hire a Beta Dog—someone who looks good on paper, makes noise in the press, but whose real job is to be a people-pleaser for the stakeholders.


The Beta Dog steps in, creating problems only to solve them and giving the illusion of productivity. He reorganizes departments and shuffles org charts—with his name at the top, naturally. The reality? He’s a show pony, sent in to keep the peace, but oblivious to the fact that he’s being used as a placeholder.


Bless his heart, he thinks bullying staff makes him an Alpha. The sad truth? The world isn’t fair, and corporate power plays like this one happen every day. The best part, the Beta Dog makes 10 times your salary and profit sharing. Feeling any empathy?


Like I said: The world ain't fair.


Why We Need HR (Even if It’s a Myth)

Here’s where HR steps in.


We exist to protect employees from the absurdities of corporate culture—whether that’s emotional labor, power struggles, or beta-dog show ponies.


But HR isn’t perfect, and the myths surrounding our profession aren’t always true. However, our job is essential to maintaining balance in a system that isn’t built to be fair. Plus, I don't think corporations like unions. Remember HR professionals, upskill, but you are the only buffer between unions and corporate bad behavior. Place a monetary value on your empathy work skills - cause corporations are already reaping the profits. Get paid for that booty call.


What’s the takeaway? We need to move toward authentic empathy, not the corporate, performative kind that’s sold to us with a price tag. We need critical thinking, not flashy buzzwords or feel-good slogans. Most of all, we need HR professionals who recognize the absurdity of it all—and aren’t afraid to call it out.

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