Every company has one—the "consultant" who’s really just a glorified family friend, the nepo baby who lands a cushy role, or the productivity expert whose main skill is billing for expensive nonsense.
But what happens when that person gains real power?
Years ago, I watched a CEO get suckered by a so-called leading productivity consultant. This guy—let’s call him Mr. Whitehead—was an older gentleman with entitlement issues so severe he demanded his own office and an inflated title.
Enter The Controller—our very own corporate Ursula. A master manipulator, she played the "Oh, I’m just a helpless little bird" routine to perfection. Naturally, Mr. Whitehead fell for it. She had him wrapped around her tentacles in no time. Ursula's agenda became the objective.
It was a con job from day one.
Corporate House of Lies: The Consultant Edition
Ever seen House of Lies?
The Showtime series (based on the book House of Lies: How Management Consultants Steal Your Watch and Then Tell You the Time by Martin Kihn) is a masterclass in corporate BS.
In the show, Marty Kaan and his team roll into companies with PowerPoints, buzzwords, and pure bravado—convincing clueless executives to pay millions for advice they should already know.
That’s exactly what happened here.
🔹 Step 1: "I’m Here to Help!" – Mr. Whitehead arrives, full of buzzwords and bravado.
🔹 Step 2: "I Just Need More Authority" – He cozies up to leadership, whispering sweet nothings about efficiency while securing his own power.
🔹 Step 3: "Give Me Money" – He launches an exclusive "executive mastermind group"—in this case, the Lions’ Den. A private club for high-level whiners to gather weekly and validate each other’s mediocrity… for $35K a month.
Yes, that’s right. The CEO essentially paid for a corporate support group.
Document Everything—Because the Lies Start Fast
Now, I document everything. That’s HR 101. But Mr. Whitehead? He hated that.
One day, he pulled me into a conversation about Ursula (aka The Controller). As I gave him a balanced, professional assessment, he kept typing. Then he frowned.
"You haven’t said one positive thing about her," he said.
"Excuse me? Read back the third paragraph," I countered. "I literally said she does a great job with her team. Do you consider that a negative?"
He just stared at me. Because he knew he’d been caught. He wasn’t documenting facts—he was crafting a narrative.
And here’s the life lesson: Sometimes, when a new administration (New administrations also mean new CEOs etc.) comes in, they already know who they want gone.
If that’s you? Don’t fight it. Start looking for your next adventure.
What Does This Have to Do with Musk’s Productivity Email?
Let’s be clear—asking employees to justify their work isn’t inherently unfair.
What matters is intent.
🔹 Is it about efficiency, or is it about shifting blame?🔹 Is it an actual business initiative, or just a way to push people out?
For now:
✅ Follow your supervisor’s requests.
✅ Document everything.
✅ Recognize that corporate stability is an illusion.
And remember—while some may feel like we’re in the winter of our economic stability, spring will come again. (Unless the world blows up. In which case, none of this matters.)
Final Thought: Consultants Are Fine—If They Actually Know Your Business
Consultants can be valuable. But if they have no real knowledge of your industry, they’re just expensive distractions.
And if they’re sleeping with the Controller? Yeah, maybe a little biased.
Lesson learned: Before you hire an outside "expert," ask yourself—are they here to help, or just another corporate show pony?
#HR #CorporateScams #BusinessLeadership #ProductivityGrift #ConsultantConJobs #MuskManagement #TheMoreYouKnow
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