The Wizard of PTO

Somewhere Over the Rainbow is Work/Life Balance.

There's no Place Like Home.

Have you ever felt like Dorothy skipping down that famous yellow brick road? I have. I remember thinking, "Yay. I got my dream job in the Emerald City."

Only to realize my CEO was the brainless Scarecrow, the "Owner" was the Tin Man without a heart, and the CFO was so beaten down - she was the Cowardly Lion in need of courage.

Now I am skipping with these kooks to someplace that magically has Work-Life Balance. The Land of Unlimited P.T.O (Paid Time Off)

Side Note: Work/Life Balance is a meaningless phrase. No one quantifies what that balance means. Does it mean I would work 80 hours a week or 20 hours a week? What about deadlines?

With unlimited PTO, what about our Flying Tech Monkeys? Do we need to feed them, or bat them away?

Teams, Emails, Smartphones: Oh My!

Zoom, Google, Skype: Oh My!

Do I have to answer these gadgets when on PTO?

Is Alexa our Wicked Witch? I spilled water on her. She started whining, "I'm melting. I'm melting."

The Question: What Does Unlimited PTO Mean?

Do you think you can take 6 months off, get paid, and still have a job?

Common sense says: NO. *Unless you share DNA with the Owner or CEO.

HR Nightmare (Try bridging the gap between the Owner's confidently ignorant family members and the CE-No's new side piece they hired -without telling HR. You might as well try and solve the Middle East Crisis.)

Reasons Why:

Who is doing the work?

• The staff who are not on PTO must pick up the slack - wouldn't that cause the dreadful mentally debilitating "mental stress" leave?

• Do you think not having Facetime with the Big Wigs is going to get you that raise?

• Even if the PTO is unpaid, how are you paying your bills? Do you have a second job?

Let's pull the curtain back on Unlimited PTO - Whoosh - What????????

Oh, if a company of providing unlimited PTO without pay, the bottom line is better for the Company - isn't it? How is unlimited PTO measured? Can you get paid out if you do not take any PTO?

Side Note: I could be wrong. If you know how unlimited PTO is quantified, I would love to know the answer.

Professionally, I don't want to go to OZ, I want to go on vacation.

Now Talk amongst yourselves.

HR Confidential: (Oh, and that CEO does have a brain for keeping costs down. That is their job. I respect that. Whether companies have a heart - that is up to you. Please stop beating up the HR Lady. She is already a closet eater and is "thisclose" to becoming an alcoholic.)